Forever Your Concierge Read online

  "I want to come. Please make me come," I begged, my eyes locked on his. No sooner did the words leave my mouth, did he have me coming apart at the seams as his thumb circled my clit while he stroked my inner walls. I helplessly clenched his fingers deep inside me. My mouth made needy sounds. I was completely oblivious to everything but what was happening between my legs.

  Once my tremors had subsided, I blinked my eyes open and watched as he brought his slick digits to his mouth, cleaning my wetness from them. His groan of satisfaction had me fumbling with his belt buckle wanting my own taste of him. Eventually he helped me by working his pants and boxers down, while my fingers found and wrapped around his hardened length.

  "Jesus," he grunted when I squeezed hard and pumped up and down his velvety shaft.

  Wiggling down his body, I kept up my ministrations, forcing him to his back. My mouth licked his neck. My teeth grazed his nipple. I sucked each ridge of his abs on my way to what was truly making my mouth water. When I finally arrived at my destination, I looked up to see his head lifted off the pillow and his eyes on me. I gave him a saucy smile, holding him in front of me, then proceeded to take one long lick from root to tip, never breaking eye contact. When I took him fully in my mouth, breathing through my nose as he bumped the back of my throat, I lost his eyes. Each grunt and groan and word of encouragement leaving his mouth, spurred me on and made me suck with fervor. Lost in what I was doing, my legs shifted as a renewed ache grew deep inside. I felt myself growing wet with a new arousal.

  Travis' balls drew up and tightened with his impending release. His hands pulled me from his cock, my mouth disengaging with a pop. Suddenly, I found myself on my back with my legs hiked high and his cock thrust inside me.

  "Yes," I cried out with the invasion. I loved nothing more than being connected to him in the most intimate and basic way. Knowing he was inside me, touching me where no one else could. This was as close as two human beings could ever get. It was heaven.

  With my ankles on either side of his head, he worked me over expertly. With each thrust, I felt it building and threatening to consume me—as it always did when we made love.

  "Oh God," I groaned. I felt my muscles beginning to contract, signaling my imminent release. "I'm coming. God, Travis. I'm coming."

  "Fuck," he panted out, planting himself inside me as I milked every last drop from him.

  Did I mention it was perfect?

  Later on, lying on his back with me tucked into his side, Travis spoke. "You nervous about next week?"

  "A little," I admitted. My finger drew random patterns on his chest.

  "It's you and me, Maya. Together. We'll get through it," he assured me.

  "It's a little intimidating. Even talking to women who have gone through fertility treatments, I feel as if I have no idea what to expect. What if they tell us we can't conceive? What if there's something wrong with me?"

  "Hey." His finger under my chin forced my gaze up to his. "Everything will be all right. We'll face any challenge we come across and we'll do it together."

  "But what if I can't give you children?" My voice broke as the words came out. I was so terrified I couldn't give him what I knew he really wanted.

  "Then it will be just you and me. This is more than enough for me, sweetheart. I'm going to love you even when we're a hundred, watching the sunset from our rocking chairs. It doesn't matter if there are great grandchildren running around or not."

  Tears began to flow down my cheeks in earnest. How did he know the exact thing I needed to hear from him?

  "I love you," he whispered. He dipped his head and kissed my lips softly, reverently.

  "I love you too," I returned.

  After several minutes, I returned my head to his chest and settled back in. "What time are we leaving tomorrow?" We were flying to Paris for a four day weekend to commemorate our first year as a married couple. I was so excited to finally see the city of lights.

  "Seven o'clock," he answered.

  "Guess we should try to get some sleep." My eyes focused on the alarm clock and saw that it was closing in on two in the morning.

  "Yeah." He kissed my head before sliding out of the covers and blowing out all the candles.

  Climbing back into bed, he spooned my back, wrapping my hand in his and pressing it to my chest. It was the perfect way to fall asleep and the perfect way to celebrate our first wedding anniversary.

  Chapter Six

  I looked around the mostly empty waiting room and continued to cringe inwardly at how poorly the consultation had gone with the fertility doctor. Travis was sitting next to me, his body leaned far away from me. It was a direct contrast from the way he held my hand earlier while his other arm was wrapped around my shoulders before we met with the doctor. To say he was upset with me after the events that transpired in the patient room would be an understatement.

  It started off well enough. The doctor was a kind, middle aged woman who was welcoming and friendly. She reviewed the information sent over by my gynecologist, along with my blood work results. She asked both Travis and me questions about our history, our family histories and our past attempts at trying to conceive.

  It was all pretty straight forward and routine. I even felt myself slowly loosening up as the appointment went on.

  Then she proceeded to give me an ultrasound. That was where it went horribly wrong.

  "Have you ever been pregnant before?" She asked as the ultrasound wand was pressed a little deeper into the side of my belly.

  "Um." I chewed on my lip and shot Travis an unsure look. That was when I visibly witnessed his eyes go dead and his heart break as he realized I had been lying to him. It was the worst thing to witness. Tears filled my eyes as pain pierced my chest.

  "Maya?" The doctor drew my attention back to her and I woodenly nodded my head. "I didn't see anything about this in your chart. Were there any complications?" She was still being friendly, but I could tell she was reprimanding me for leaving out such a crucial piece of information.

  "No," I croaked out. My throat was as dry as the Sahara Desert and I was having trouble swallowing. The walls of the room felt like they were closing in on me.

  It was all going to come out, I hysterically thought.

  Why had I foolishly thought I wouldn't have to confront this part of my past while seeking out fertility treatments?

  "I'm seeing some abnormalities that have me a little concerned. I'd like to get a better look to be sure what we're dealing with."

  "How will you do that?" I asked her, scared shitless about the potential of something seriously being wrong with me.

  "We'll do what's called a hysteroscopy. That's where a thin viewing tool called a hysteroscope will be inserted into your vagina and gently moved through the cervix into the uterus. It has a light and a camera hooked to it so I'll be able to see the uterine lining on a video screen. I have to ask, was this a successful pregnancy?"

  "No."

  "Did you have a miscarriage?"

  "No." I chanced a glance out of the corner of my eye at Travis, whose face was now reddening as his disgust with me grew.

  "Abortion then," she deduced.

  I didn't answer. I couldn't. It wasn't something I was proud of. It was the biggest regret I had. One that would haunt me until the day I took my last breath.

  "Sometimes in cases of abortion, the body forms scar tissue. Good thing is we can do the procedure here and remove whatever it is we find. I'd like to do it today, if you have time. This way I can make sure our treatment plan is the best fit for you."

  "Okay," I readily agreed. There was nothing more I wanted than to get this whole thing over with. Fear was gripping my chest at the thought that my abortion could be affecting my ability to have children with Travis. The lasting repercussions of falling in love with Ashton Moore seemed to continue knocking me on my ass.

  "I'm just going to have you wait out in the waiting room while I have the room prepped and meet with my last patient of the day." Her war
m hand gripped mine, giving me much needed comfort. "I'll have the nurse take care of everything."

  With brisk efficiency she left the room, leaving Travis and me alone. After several minutes, I cleared my throat and looked at him. "Travis—"

  "No. Not now." His voice was hard and cold.

  "Will you just look at me?" I pleaded.

  "I can't. I need time to wrap my head around your betrayal. Can't you just give me that? I'll meet you in the other room." He strode to the door. The soft clicking of it closing behind him was more telling than if he had slammed it. He was shutting me out.

  * * *

  "I feel like I don't even know you at all," Travis finally spoke on our way home.

  "I couldn't tell you," I argued weakly. Even though we hadn't said a word through the whole procedure, I still hadn't had time to formulate what I was going to say to hopefully make things right between us. It didn't help that I was still in a bit of pain after the procedure, where she removed a small amount of scar tissue that she found. Whereas I didn't have to have anesthesia, I was in desperate need of some over-the-counter pain relievers.

  "It was his wasn't it? That douchebag, Ashton?"

  "Yes." I wasn't surprised that he easily deduced who the father was, so there was no point in denying it.

  He punched the steering wheel and made a sharp right turn. I gripped the door to keep from flying out of my seat.

  "Please, slow down," I pleaded, my knuckles turning white with how hard I was holding onto the door handle.

  "I can't believe you got pregnant by a man who I never even knew you dated until the night before our fucking wedding. What else are you hiding, Maya? What?" He ended on a shout, and I flinched at his tone. He had never yelled at me. It made any hope of salvaging this day fly right out the window.

  "Nothing. I swear."

  Travis pulled up to our building and alighted from the car without another word. He always opened the car door for me, so even though I shouldn't have been, I was still surprised that he made no attempt to do so then. The valet for our building came over to park the car, so I scurried out and followed behind Travis' retreating back as he moved towards the building, ignoring me.

  The elevator ride up to the penthouse was beyond tense. I watched from the corner of my eye as his jaw ticked, and he clenched his fists over and over again. I had never seen him so angry before. I was at a loss for what would make this any better.

  Inside the apartment, he strode into the study and poured himself a glass of scotch from the wet bar. I stood silently in the doorway to the room, unsure of what to say or do. This was new territory for us, and I was afraid to make it worse.

  "I want the details. Everything. And so help me Maya if you leave a single fucking thing out, I... I don't really know. I've never been this pissed off before. What I do know without a doubt is that I can't stay married to someone who would purposefully continue to lie to me after everything that's happened. This right here is almost worse than finding out you had an affair. It might even be worse, actually, seeing as how you've been hiding the fact that you don't trust me for years."

  "I don't know where to start. I'm legally sworn to secrecy." My voice sounded small and unsure, and I wrung my hands nervously. Could I really do this? Did I even have a choice at this point?

  He let out a bitter laugh. "You'd rather protect him then tell me? You really think I would betray your trust like you did mine?" His tone was harsh and disbelieving.

  "No. Protecting him has nothing to do with it. I'm protecting us. He has the resources at his disposal to make our lives a living hell if he finds out I broke the nondisclosure."

  "Don't talk about an us. You're only protecting you. Tell. Me. Now," he demanded.

  With no other option, I took a deep breath and launched in to the whole sordid affair. "You know we dated and that we were pretty much living together at one point. What you don't know is that I slept with him to get the part in Chicago. It wasn't until after that we began seeing each other regularly. During our time together, he wasn't completely satisfied with having just me in bed. On numerous occasions there were three or four of us. Some were women. Some were men. I'll spare you the sordid details. Basically, it was a free for all. I guess he thought because I was such a slut to sleep with him on my 'private' audition that it was okay to put me through that. He knew I wanted that role and he used it to his advantage. He manipulated me.

  "The last few encounters we had were videotaped. I didn't know it at the time. The first one was with a politician. He..." I swallowed hard unable to say aloud what had happened. I clenched my eyes shut and turned my face away from him, somehow finding the strength to continue. "He raped me. It was supposedly some fantasy of his that Ashton promised him I would play out. I tried to tell them that I didn't want it. The whole time Ashton pinned me down, the guy thought I was playing a part—just like he wanted—when in reality I was terrified and being forced to take whatever he dished out."

  "Jesus," he cursed and slammed back his drink, promptly pouring another one. It was only then that I looked back at him. He looked angrier than he did before, which was saying something.

  "The last time was with the producer of Chicago. She was a fuck buddy of sorts for him. When I found him in bed with my understudy, Stephanie, it was the last straw. I left him and the show. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know if it was Ashton's or the politician's. Neither of them had used protection—it wasn't part of the scene. I went to Ashton and demanded he help me since I was pregnant and broke. He laughed at me so I threatened to go to the politician. When that didn't work, I threatened to tell the producer and writers and get him kicked off the show for taking advantage of some of us in the cast. That's when he told me if the only thing I ever wanted to star in was a porno, I would keep my mouth shut. Then he showed me the tapes. He was blackmailing the politician and the producer. I knew then that they would never help me because they would have to deal with Ashton's wrath."

  "So you got an abortion? Your parents would have helped you, Maya." His tone had softened a bit but he was still livid. You could tell in the hard lines of his face and the tenseness of his body. I don't think he moved an inch the whole time I came clean with him.

  "I know that, Travis. Ashton made me get an abortion. He said there was no way he wanted a little bastard running around the city that could be his. He had a doctor come to his mom's apartment where he was staying and perform the procedure. Apparently, if you have enough money you can buy anything—including doctors. I assure you that if I hadn't been scared out of my mind to the point that he manipulated the shit out of me, I would have kept that child. In the end, he stripped me of everything. But to make it even better? He paid me to keep quiet. I've never touched it though. It's tainted money."

  "I wish you would have told me." The ice in his glass clinked as he set it down on the table and ran his hands through his hair.

  "I don't." At his incredulous look, I continued, "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to talk about all that? To relive it? It's a fucking nightmare. I never wanted you to know how far I sunk. I never wanted you looking at me the way you are right now."

  He shook his head and stepped towards me. "How am I looking at you?"

  "Like I'm no better than Ashton. Like I'm a complete stranger. Like you can't stand to be near me."

  "I'm not looking at you like I can't stand to be near you."

  "You were earlier."

  "I guess I was. Can you blame me though?"

  "No. I get it. Okay? I would be just as angry if I were in your shoes, but this isn't something I ever wanted you to find out. When I signed that nondisclosure agreement, I did it knowing I was going to take the secret to my grave."

  "You need to tell Kayla. She's still with that piece of shit for God's sake."

  "You think I don't want to? You think I don't feel physically ill every time I think about them together? Or the fact that he could be putting her through the same torture I wen
t through? I signed a nondisclosure agreement. I took his blood money. If I tell her, she'll either believe me and confront him or think I'm lying and tell him. I know my sister. This will all blow up in my face. I don't want him attacking us." I finished my rant with my chest heaving and my hands shaking.

  "I'm not afraid of him."

  "Well, I am. You don't go through what I did with him and not be. And I won't have him trying to ruin you while he ruins me. I won't."

  "This is so fucked up," he murmured and poured himself a third glass of scotch. "I would kill that fucker if I could."

  "Don't talk like that. Travis, where do we go from here?" I asked his back, secretly afraid to see his face when I did. Afraid of what I would see in his eyes.

  "I don't know."

  "Are you through with me?" I said barely louder than a whisper. I felt like crumbling into a ball on the floor at the prospect of losing him. I always knew something would ultimately put an end to the happiness I found with him. The other shoe must always drop. How ironic that it was my secrets that forced it to fall so quickly.

  He turned quickly, his scotch sloshing over the rim of his glass and onto his hand. "No. Of course not. I'm mad as hell that you kept this from me, but I promised you forever and I meant it. I'm sorry if I made you feel any differently."

  "Please, don't apologize to me. I can't take it. I'm the one who has everything to apologize for. Me." I pressed my hand to my chest and began crying in earnest. I cried for my past. I cried for my secrets. I cried for my dishonesty. Most of all I cried for hurting Travis. He deserved so much better than me.

  He took me in his arms just as my legs collapsed. Taking me to the floor, he cradled me like a baby while I pressed my face into his chest and soaked his shirt with my tears.

  A long while later, my tears had mostly dried and Travis still held me like I was made of glass. "I'm sorry," I murmured against his chest.

  "As long as we stick together, it will all work out. Let's not keep this between us. Or anything for that matter. Keeping things secret only gives them power over you."