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  What People Are Saying About Love Square

  “Love Square is a sexy read about betrayal, heartbreak, finding forgiveness and falling in love again. I was glued to this story!"

  -- Autumn Hull, The Autumn Review

  "This story will take you to a place you never thought you wanted to go. Jessica Ingro's writing is a slap of cold harsh reality and it's not one I will forget."

  -- Emily Smith, The SubClub Book Blog

  "Love Square is the perfect triangle of angst with the plot taking a turn to add another corner. I am an angst lover and Love Square certainly did not disappoint."

  -- Jennifer Hagen, Three Chicks & Their Books Blog

  “No doubt, this story is explosively hot, Hot, HOT! You don't have to agree with Sam's decisions, or make this into some controversial book. It is pure fantasy. Take this book and live VICARIOUSLY through it.”

  -- Kayla Robichaux, aka Kayla the Bibliphile

  “Love Square is not your typical Bodice Ripper Beach Read. Jessica Ingro breaks all the rules of writing romance novels. And writing a novel people will be talking about? She falls out of that tree and hits every branch on the way down. Every. Branch.”

  -- Beth Rustenhaven, The Indie Bookshelf

  Love Square

  Jessica Ingro

  To all the women out there trying to find themselves… this is for you.

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Epilogue

  Coming Soon

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Prologue

  Life is messy and complicated. What we grow up thinking of as black and white is anything but. Gray areas are everywhere. No one knows this better than me.

  The thing about gray areas, though, is you have to know how to best navigate them and stay true to yourself while doing it. Being happy and being able to look yourself in the mirror while doing it is a delicate balance. I used to believe it didn’t matter who got hurt in my pursuit of happiness – I owed it to myself to be who I wanted to be and to do what I wanted to do. Isn’t that what life is really all about?

  I didn’t think about the repercussions of my actions on others. I just wanted to live my life as I saw fit. I didn’t want to play the role that society handed down to me – career driven, dutiful family member and wife, and ultimately mother. I woke up miserable and feeling like I had wasted too much time doing what everyone expected of me. To put it mildly, I was in a funk.

  I allowed my life to be ruled by temptation and succumbed to the dark allure of my forbidden desires. I allowed the love I once had for a beautiful boy to almost destroy everything that I held dear. When he found me I was lost and insecure. I clung to the hope that maybe he could save me from my inner turmoil, instead of looking inside myself for the answers.

  In the end, I was in over my head and needed a harsh dose of reality to show me what was really important. Luckily for me, I had great people around to help pick me back up. People who truly care about you will always be there for you, even when you hit rock bottom.

  If there is one thing you should take away from this story, it’s to follow your heart and never look to anyone else to make you happy. It wasn’t until I realized that life is what I make of it and that I have the power to change things, that I discovered how great life could really be.

  This is my story and just like life, it’s messy and complicated.

  Chapter One

  The lights shine brightly in the windows across the city. Hundreds of people still at work – living their lives day in and day out – many of them trying to get the most out of life. Sometimes I like to fantasize about what it would be like to be that person down on the street, heading home after working in an office all day. That woman over there – I wonder if she’s happy, if she’s successful, if she’s loved, or where she lives… things of that nature. I stare out the window lost in these thoughts while my best friend Michelle regales me with her latest sexual conquest. Trying to keep up with her love life is like living with perpetual whiplash.

  Michelle is five feet four inches of pure gorgeousness. Her shoulder-length blond hair, light green eyes and perfectly symmetrical face garners her a lot of attention. Oh and did I mention she has the body of a fifties pin up model? She is the complete opposite of me with my long, wavy mahogany hair and brown eyes. I’m a few inches taller than her, my ass is a little too big and my breasts aren’t small, but they aren’t as big as hers either. I know I’m good looking – otherwise I wouldn’t get hit on all the time – but I’m no Michelle.

  I’m not really sure why she hasn’t found “The One” yet, but I know she’ll stop at nothing until she does. Why is it that married people wish they could live it up like single people, while single people are so desperate to be married? I guess it’s the typical cliché that the grass is always greener.

  “So after he licked the chocolate sauce off my toes, he…”

  “Please Michelle… stop right there! My ears are going to bleed if I have to hear any more stories of chocolate sauce and toes!” I turn back from the window and snap at her.

  “What crawled up your ass today? You’ve been cranky and rude all afternoon. Are things still shitty between you and Aiden?” Her face is scrunched up in annoyance at my outburst.

  “Of course they are, but that doesn’t mean I feel like talking about it,” I sigh. I know she loves me but I don’t really feel like rehashing mine and my husband’s problems.

  “Look, Sam. I’m here for you, always. I’m just not sure I understand why you don’t want to have kids. You two have been together for ten years. Aiden worships you and would do most of the work; he’s almost desperate to have them. And please don’t get all defensive on me, I know you need to be ready too, but I thought you were.”

  Leave it to Michelle to be the voice of reason and make me feel worse than I already do.

  “I thought I was too, Michelle. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and after almost three years of trying and nothing happening, I have to believe there is a reason. I just feel like everyone is pushing me in that direction because it’s the next logical step. What kind of mother would I be if I let him do all the work? I’ll tell you what kind… not a very good one. And I do not want to end up anything like my mother. You saw how completely selfish she was when we were growing up. I just can’t put a child through any of that.”

  “You are not your mother. And I’m sick of you using that as an excuse. Your life is whatever you make out of it. I just want to see you both happy. I think Aiden is good for you, I always have. He doesn’t put up with your shit, but still treats you like a queen.” She grabs my hand and her eyes show how sincere she is when she adds, “I just want to see you happy again.”

  Tears start to build behind my eyes. My throat burns trying to keep them at bay. “Thanks. I do too. And I’m sure the cold war that is the Parker house will come to an end soon. He just needs to understand where I’m coming from and give me more time.”

  “Yeah, but in the meantime, you two aren't doing the deed anymore and that just isn’t healthy in a relationship. Are you at least taking care of yourself? I gave you that silver bullet on your birthday for a reason you know.” She waggles her brows suggestively in an attempt to lighten the mood.

  “Please do not go there. We are so not talking about this again.” I groan while covering my eyes. This is so embarrassing. Sure I’d like to have an orgasm that wasn’t self-induced. The last six months of being at a stalemate with Aiden is really starting to wear on me. And the longer it goes on, the worse our communication seems to be getting. Yet, neither one of us is willing to break the cycle.

  I stand up and grab my purse, before turning to her and saying, “For as much fun as this is, I better get going. Hugo needs a walk and I’m sure Aiden is going to want dinner when he gets home. I’ll call you tomorrow after the book signing.”

  “Alright, just think about what I said, okay? You two are so great together and I really don’t want to see the last ten years of your life become wasted.” She wraps her arms around me and I soak up as much of her comfort as I can before heading home.

  *****

  I really don’t want to see the last ten years of your life become wasted.

  Those words echo in my ears as I head to our home in Virginia from Michelle’s office in Washington, D.C. I can’t get it out of my head because it’s exactly what I’ve been feeling. Maybe the last ten years have actually been wasted by trying to live up to other people’s expectations and not focusing on me or sowing my wild oats when I had the chance. That’s what most people in their twenties do. Not me though. I fell in love at twenty-one and was completely settled down by twenty-four. Sometimes I see other people around me just getting to the point I was at when I was twenty-four, and I feel like I stepped into my parent’s generation of living.
r />   It’s so hard to look back on that time and think of it as a mistake though. I was completely enraptured with Aiden from the first moment I saw him. It’s like that semi-cheesy 90’s song, “I Knew I Loved You.” It just felt right. After all we’ve been through the memories seem even more bittersweet.

  I had just gotten to the party my college roommate’s boyfriend was having. Across the room there was a game of beer pong going on. Amongst the loud cheers, I saw him. His blue eyes were the color of the ocean and his blond hair was a little long and wavy. He stood at over six feet tall, his body broad and powerfully built. He was clearly winning the game and his laugh was completely infectious.

  There was a group of girls hanging on his every word; a few were even hanging on him. They made me want to puke. I didn’t know any self-respecting girls who acted like that. It didn’t appear as though Mr. Blue Eyes was complaining though. It looked like he was soaking up all the attention.

  A couple hours later I was seriously considering bailing on my roommate. If one more loser hit on me, I was going to run from this party as fast as I could. Almost as if I conjured him up, loser number six decided it was a good time to come talk to me.

  “Baby, did you fart? Cause you blow me away!” He said and I was assaulted with his stale, hot, beer breath in my face.

  Really? I cannot believe he just said that. That was by far the worse pick up line I had ever heard in my lifetime. I really hoped this guy was extremely intoxicated and not that big of a jack ass.

  Just as I was about to slap him upside the head, I felt a strong set of hands squeeze my shoulders and a soft kiss land on my temple. Was this a nightmare or was my luck getting worse? I spun around getting ready to unleash my anger on the jerk behind me and immediately froze. It was Mr. Blue Eyes – the beer pong god. His crystal blue eyes were pleading with me, I assumed, to play along. His smile was radiant and for a brief second I felt like a romance novel heroine. We are talking major swoon happening here people. I think all my girly bits sat up and waved at him.

  “Hey, sweetheart, I was looking all over for you.” His deep voice made my chest vibrate as his arms wrapped around me and held me tightly against him. His soft warm lips touched mine briefly and I felt my body melt into his as the other jerk stormed off in a huff.

  Aiden used to say that that one brief taste was all he needed to know that I was the one he was going to spend the rest of his life with. Before that moment, if you had told me that I’d be going home that night with Aiden Parker, quarterback of the University football team and frat boy extraordinaire, I would have laughed at you. But that’s exactly what happened.

  We stayed up all night talking and laughing – forming an incredible bond with each other. It was the night I fell in love. Aiden in every way felt like my soul mate and we’ve been together ever since.

  Pulling into the driveway, I take a deep breath and wipe away the moisture collecting in the corner of my eyes. We’ll get through this, we always do. This time just feels worse than the others, but it’s what makes a relationship stronger in the end.

  I enter the kitchen through the doorway in the garage and our St. Bernard, Hugo, bounds into the room practically taking me off my feet with his excitement.

  “Hey, boy! You glad mommy’s home? Huh, baby?” I coo at him while stroking his fur.

  His doggy tail whips back and forth and he lets out a big woof in agreement.

  After I let him out the back door, I start searching through the fridge for something to make for dinner. The garage door opens and in walks Aiden. He’s wearing a blue checkered flannel shirt, faded jeans and work boots. Aiden is all man. His arms, chests, and thighs are thick and well defined, courtesy of years of football and the fact that he is just a solid built man. I have always felt so safe wrapped in his arms.

  Judging by the look on his face, though, his latest project at work is giving him another shitty day. His brows are furrowed and his jaw is set hard.

  I square my shoulders and decide to test the waters. “Hi. I was just looking for something to make. My meeting in the city ran late so I just got home a few minutes ago. You want to order pizza for delivery instead?”

  “Yeah, I guess,” he says shortly as he walks out of the room.

  Okay. Well he is definitely cranky again. I lean into the counter and bow my head in defeat. It feels like it’s a never ending game we’re playing.

  The rest of the night seems to pass without any further confrontations until it’s time to go to bed. Lying in the dark, each of us facing away from each other, it’s like there is a million miles between us. He takes a breath like he’s getting ready to say something, but then nothing comes. A few minutes pass and he does it again. God I just want to scream, “Say something already! Please just tell me what is wrong with us!” But again… silence.

  I’m just starting to fall asleep when he finally makes the decision to say what he’s been thinking. Too bad what he is about to say is going to completely wake me up.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that my sister invited us to dinner on Saturday? You know I don’t want to see her asshole husband, yet you went behind my back and told her we’d be there. The last place I want to be is at one of his fucking hoity-toity dinner parties where everyone is a complete snob and I’m forced to listen to bullshit stories about the country club.” Contempt drips from his harsh words.

  I immediately see red. There is absolutely no reason for him to treat me this way. I haven’t done anything wrong and I refuse to be his punching bag right now.

  “I told Sharon we would be there because we still haven’t seen their new house and your mother was crying about how she wants you guys to get along better. I was trying to help. A few hours of being uncomfortable with Barry and his business associates isn’t going to kill you. And to be perfectly honest, I’m sick of being treated like an asshole. Now, goodnight!”

  I pound my pillow with my fist and consider getting up to go sleep in the guest room but I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I’m that pissed off right now. I lay there staring at the wall for what feels like forever before sleep finally puts me out of my misery.

  *****

  The next morning I wake up and find the bed is empty. The house is completely quiet so I’m assuming Aiden has already left for the day. I’m not really surprised. This has become our routine lately, a few hours of awkward silence in the evening and not much other interaction throughout the day.

  I shuffle to the kitchen and start a pot of coffee. Caffeine is a must after my poor night of sleep.

  The kitchen is my favorite room in the house. Not because I like to cook, but because it’s coveted by many. It features high-end stainless steel appliances set against white cabinets and a large eat-in island with black soapstone countertops. When we bought the house five years ago, I couldn’t wait to renovate the kitchen. It has all the gadgets a girl could possibly want.

  I head outside to the back enclosed porch with my cup in hand. Sipping my coffee, my mind goes through everything I have to do today. The most important, is my book signing in Pennsylvania for my recent book. It’s the second in a series and my fan base has picked up quickly with its release. Michelle and my publishers have been trying to convince me to go on a book tour. There are numerous author events scheduled throughout the country over the next few months. I’m already booked for a few, including a much anticipated Naughty Mafia event in Las Vegas. That one is sure to be legendary and I’m thrilled that I was invited.

  Checking the clock, I realize I’ve wasted too much time dillydallying and rush off to the shower. I decide to dress comfortable, yet chic, in a brown sweater dress, cream tights and brown knee high boots. I accessorize with big, chunky bracelets and a couple varied lengths of thin necklaces with cream, brown and light pink beads. My hair is down and styled in loose waves that fall to my lower back.